Remembering Orenthal James Simpson

I was saddened at the news about O.J. Simpson's death. Not so much, really, at his death. That, after all, comes for all of us, and was inevitable.

But I saw a short clip on the news, of Mr. Simpson on February 9th denying he was in hospice care ("Hospice? No, I'm not needing any hospice"), and then another of him two days later saying his health was good, and he was just about over his "challenges."* Now maybe he wasn't in hospice. And I know very well the inclination to look on the bright side, especially when the "other side" seems unthinkable.

But I also know the cancer of denial, and the fear of being honest, with self and others, about truths we just don't want to face.

I am sad that Mr. Simpson avoided, apparently to the end, some of the most important truths about his life. He lived off his greatness as a footbal player, which was certainly true. I remember as a child watching him on the college field, where he was a cut above everyone else. He dodged, ran by, ran around, ran through and ran over those standing between him and the goal. That, after all, is what you're supposed to do on the football field. If you do it well, you are acclaimed for it, and it can bring trophies, money, fame, and opportunities beyond football.

Unfortunately for him, and for Nicole Brown Simpson, Ron Goldman, their families, and for America, Orenthal James Simpson also dodged, ran by, ran around, ran through and ran over essential truths about himself. When accused of killing Ms. Simpson and Mr. Goldman, Simpson's trial became mostly about race, while his crime was about domestic violence.

Unlike Ms. Simpson and Mr. Brown, who were following different paths in their lives, "O.J." made a long series of choices to avoid the realities of his brokenness and weaknesses, evidently preferring his fame, his celebrity, his wealth and privilege, and his distorted view of himself.

After one of his many pre-murder violent incidents, Mr. Simpson was referred to a Los Angeles-area battering intervention program run by one of the best people doing that work. Had he chosen to attend, he could have done the hard work to understand what was driving his need to control and dominate others. An elite athlete, Mr. Simpson knew how to push himself for physical achievment. He had the physical and mental strength to succeed in that endeavor. Had he done the same kind of work with his emotions, his belief systems, and his relationships, we would all have been better for that. But he bought his way out of that more difficult path, and was allowed a "fig leaf" of a brief anger management program. That covered up, but did not change his sickness and his utter un-willingness to accept and change himself. ANd so he did let his ex-wife live as her own person, rather than as his possession. "I loved her too much," he said, something he likely believed.

His aquittal allowed him to continue that pattern of self-deception to the end of his days. I do not pretend to know what mix of personal and systemic ills led Orenthal James Simpson, child of God, to become an abuser, murderer, thief and lifelong liar. There are demons of repression and abusive treatment, of stigma, and racism, and privilege. Pretty much everyone has some destructive demons to confront. But I wonder "What if...?", and am filled with sadness for Mr. Simpson himself, and for all those hurt and deceived along the way.

One of the facts of celebrity trials is the publicity. While looking for images appropriate to this post, I came across crime scene photos, which were something I forgot to remember about those events nearly 30 years ago. While trial and America choosing sides became a bloody mess, the killings themselves were bloody and brutal.

That was the price of not confronting demons.


Credits:
Mike Nelson/AFP via Getty Images. (12 June, 1994). Molly McMillan (L) and Albert Bruce from Gardena pause after placing flowers in front of the walkway in Brentwood, California,12 June, where Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ronald Goldman were allegedly murdered, 12 June 1994, by O.J. Simpson. McMillan said she came to show her support for spousal abuse victims.

Frank Edwards/Fotos International/Getty, and Lee Celano/Wireimage. People Magazine Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman Were Murdered 25 Years Ago Today: 'The Pain Is Always There'12 June, 2019.

* If you want to hear Mr. Simpson's words, you can look on his X-feed. I am including no images of Mr. Simpson or links to his sites here.